Lessons I learned from the movie "28 Days"

A few years ago I stumbled upon the movie "28 Days", starring Sandra Bullock et al. I was in a video shop in Auckland and it looked like a good way to waste a few hours, so I hired it. Little did I know that there were a few good life lessons to come from this odd pairing of Sandra Bullock and Viggo Mortensen. 

If you haven't seen the movie, Sandra Bullock plays Gracie, a walking disaster alcoholic party girl with a party boy live-in boyfriend named Jasper. She's been a mess most of her adult life, but after she trashes her older sister's wedding, crashes a limousine into a house and destroys a wedding cake, she ends up sentenced to 28 days in a rehab facility.

The movie obviously reveals that Gracie has issues with prescription drugs and alcohol, which together with the partying, she is using to block out the pain and hurt of her past. She ends up in a group of addicts of all kinds - sex, drugs, alcohol, you name it - and it takes a nasty accident for Gracie to learn how to ask for help.

There's another rather famous actor from most of my favourite Adam Sandler movies (watch it and figure it out for yourself, I can't give everything away!) who plays a counsellor and recovering addict. He is asked in a group session how one would know when one is ready for a relationship. His immortal words in response to this question are not too far off those I have used to paraphrased his response into:

"In a year's time, get a plant. If the plant is still alive one year later, get a pet. If the pet and the plant are both alive a year after that, then you're ready." 

I have no issues with pets - I've had cats most of my life and my current fur baby turns nine this year. I've had her since she was 10 weeks old, moved her over from NZ with me and she's never too far away at any given time. 

I've previously had a pretty rocky road with plants. That is, until last year, when I went on a horticultural bender and bought a Happy Houseplant (a Dracaena) which I named Harold. A week later, I bought an Aloe Vera plant and another succulent - both of these were low maintenance and a bit spiky, just like me. Fast forward another month and my collection of succulents increased by a further six plants! Finally, for Christmas last year, I bought myself a baby lucky bamboo plant. 

I'm proud to say that my plants are all still alive and Harold in particular is a very happy houseplant indeed He's tripled in size and will definitely need a re-pot soon as he's getting too big for his current abode. I've named his other two stems Harriet and Harry - who will be moving to pots of their own soon. I may even take one of them to work to green up my office. 

We're four months down, I haven't killed any plants and my cat has been alive for 8.5 years. I guess I'd be ready for a relationship in eight months or so - if I wanted one, that is.

I'm pretty happy flying solo. I can go where I want and do what I want, when I want. I don't have to worry about anyone getting grumpy sitting home alone if I do six yoga classes a week (well, except for the cat, but she forgets when I get home). I can go away and my neighbours will feed the cat. I don't have to worry about someone else sneaking naughty food into the house. I have the blankets and bed almost all to myself as well - although sadly the cat steals at least one third of the bed. 

If someone came along who has beliefs and values that are truly in alignment with mine, then that's awesome. If he happened to love all the things I love to do, even better. I'm not convinced this person exists and I'm not changing myself to suit a man who doesn't gel with my groove, so until such time as this magical guy rocks up to my front door with a yoga mat under one arm and a slab of coconut water under the other, while singing MUSE songs and standing in tree pose, I'm happy steering my own ship in the direction that I want to go. 

Gracie finally figured this out at the end of the movie - about 90 minutes of real time or several weeks in plot time. It's taken me nearly 37 years, but I can safely say that I know I am on the right course and there's wind in my sails. 

Leonie Dawson's Amazing Life Workbook

I've been feeling a little stagnant lately. I can't tell if it's my energy channels, my aura, my inner child or nadis. Too much to think about, not enough action. 

I know that I'm tired from working six days a week (mentally, physically and emotionally tired) and I'm thrilled that I now have two days off work (it's a beloved long weekend, hooray!). 

A little downtime certainly won't go astray. 

Although my year is pretty well mapped out with destinations (physical and mental, literal and figurative, etc, etc and so on and so forth), the journey is as they say the most important part - I know exactly where I'm going to end up, it's just that the getting there part (and the reasons why) hasn't been well fleshed out yet. Well, until 20 minutes ago!

I have literally just stumbled upon Leslie Dawson's 2014 Amazing Year Life Workbook, thanks to a friend of mine. I actually now possess the digital versions of both the life and business workbooks, which is pretty awesome. However, I feel like I need physical copies so I'll be off to print them out at the local stationery store this weekend. 

I've started with the life workbook and lo and behold, one of the first things to do is "The Very Important 2013 Closing Ceremony". I have been saying for a fair few weeks now that I need to drag out all the crap I hid under my yoga mat in 2013 and deal with it, bid it farewell and move on; in order to move forward and truly enjoy 2014 - "The Year of Me" - as well as finally get my hips to move the right way in various yoga asana!

I will spend tonight closing off 2013 and then tomorrow and Monday planning my 2014. There's a few private matters to attend to as part of the 2013 closing ceremony, so I'll be taking this offline. 

Change is good

Last week I had a whole lot of change and new stuff thrown my way in a big heap. 

It was scorching hot in Melbourne and I wasn't coping too well with overnight temperatures of around 38 degrees celsius, let alone four days in a row above 40 degrees celsius. I'm from NZ, so is the cat - we didn't cope too well with it. We did however learn some valuable lessons for next time it happens. It's Melbourne, anything can happen and with the weather here, it probably will. 

I had changes at work, which I didn't have the capacity to deal with immediately on occurrence, as I was in work mode. I compartmentalise things and put them in neat little storage containers in my brain to deal with later. This work change box flew open during yoga, while I was upside down. It then ran around and around in my head all night and into the next morning. Not exactly impeccable timing, but whatever!

On Friday I was meant to go to a 2014 New Year goal setting workshop thing, which was cancelled five hours out from the start time due to "extreme heat". I spent quite a bit of time on Friday morning custom pimping a notebook to take with me to this workshop. The glue wouldn't stick as it was about 40 degrees inside my house. I was sweating just trying to get it done and the contact book covering adhesive wouldn't sit flush. 

I was already physically and mentally exhausted from hardly any sleep because it was too hot in my house. I was sick with heat exhaustion on the Wednesday and Thursday. I was dehydrated, tired, wiped out and over it. I hadn't eaten a proper meal in days because it was too hot to eat hot food, so I was having fruit, yogurt, sustagen, rice cakes, lots of coconut water, water and electrolytes, and the odd bit of pasta bake. 

On Friday morning, I had a meltdown. It all ended in tears. I found myself emotionally exhausted, racked with sobs and crying my eyes out. I needed to let it out, before it took over. I cried, I wailed and then I phoned a wise man.

I have swept some stuff from 2013 under my yoga mat, and some of that crept out and leapt in my face.  I have now given myself a deadline of 31 January to deal with the rest of it constructively, before I carry this heavy load around on my back for any longer. Or more correctly, it's sitting in knots inside my overly tight hips. 

I've been reading up on tight hips and it turns out women tend to store their stress in their hips. If you're tight in the hips, you probably have stored up stuff that needs to be dealt with and let go of.  I'll be doing a hip opening series later this week to try and force an emotional release through yoga, as there's more to come out from under my mat. 

My bolster has arrived and now that I've spent six hours of today re-arranging the house to give myself dedicated areas for chilling out, craft/study and yoga; I can get on that bolster in hip-opening poses and get this garbage out! I feel better for having spent my whole single day off this week moving furniture and opening boxes of stuff I haven't looked in for ages. But, procrastinating although necessary as this was, I can't put off doing this emotional release work forever. 

Bottling stuff up, sweeping it under your yoga mat, stuffing it in the closet or playing deaf/dumb/blind won't work forever. I compartmentalised my junk and now it's time to sort and toss it. I didn't bottle it up, I just stored it until I was strong enough to deal with it. 

I feel that time is now, so it's time to begin the process of letting go. 

Gratitude

One of my intentions for this year is to be more grateful. Late last year, Kikki-K had a sale on their journals and I purchased the set of the old design (Happiness, Goals, Wellness, Gratitude) as I don't really like the new design. On New Year's Day, I opened the Gratitude journal and started a process that I've so far kept going for 12 days. Every day I will write three things I'm grateful for and why.

There's only about 77 pages in the existing journal, so at some point I'll have to suck it up and buy the new style journal, but until then I'm rocking the old design. It's so nice to be able to reflect on the little things, big things and awesome things that happen each day.

And on that note, I also started another daily process of collecting all the great things that have happened each day and sticking them on a post-it note, then into my 2014 Great Things jar that I received for completing a three-day yoga intensive from 29-31 December. My yoga teacher Emily gave us each a jar, which I promptly came home and pimped out with a banging jar tag. 

Yoga has certainly reignited my creative fire and I've done a lot of crafty stuff so far this year. 

Long may it continue. 

Creative Expression

One of my favourite things to do on a Sunday is work on craft projects. I also like making stuff, pimping stuff and spending time making extra stuff special. I love putting a part of me into each project and it helps me stay busy, grounded and balanced. Some yin to all the yang activities I do each day, etc, etc and so on and so forth.

My yoga studio has it's first birthday this week so I spent (literally) hours hand pimping a 3D birthday card to say congratulations, thanks, well done and hooray!

Here it is.

The gold edging on each page alone took three hours. This was a real test of and exercise in patience. I just cranked up the yogi tunes and got it done. I wanted something that looked hand made, was totally hand decorated and is an outward expression of gratitude for all the hours of love and kindness that Emily has put into creating and developing our yoga studio and yoga family.

Having a creative outlet is important to me, as it gives me time on my own to just make stuff. I don't get to do anything too creative at work (other than draw on the chalkboard / inspiration wall once or twice a month), so craft stuff gives me a sense of balance and helps me defrag my brain. Plus, with the fiscal resources required to live out my dreams and achieve my goals this year, it also keeps me occupied on weekends so that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by choosing to stay home and save every last cent that I can!

Great things ahead for 2014

It's a whole fresh, new, shiny year tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to it. 

I'm starting the year with my usual blasting of and boogie along to U2's epic anthem "New Year's Day". Then I'll heading off to a hot disco yoga class, followed by lunch - hopefully Malaysian food. I was going to do a movie but couldn't find any session times so I guess everything is closed. Weird. If this was NZ, everything would be open!

2014 will be the year of ME. I've spent 36.5 years busily taking care of and worrying about everyone else and it's high time I gave myself some airtime. I have the following stuff planned:

• Yoga retreat and holiday in Malaysia in April (Langkawi, KL and maybe a bit of Johor Bahru with a side trip to a couple of our gyms in Singapore). I won't be visiting during Ramadan, which will be interesting, as all the 24hr food courts will be 24hrs again. Makan, makan, makan (Malay for eat) - walk, walk, walk.

• Yoga Teacher Training in Bali in July/August, combined with a couple of days holiday either side. I'll do a couple of days in Bali either side with a couple of days in KL on the way home, since I'll be flying Air Asia.

• I'd like to get a little more ink. I have four tattoos that represent other people and it's time to get one or three just for me. 

• I will learn Malay, Japanese, Spanish, German, Italian and French. Seven languages should be enough, including English. Malay can be used a bit in Indonesia so that will help with communicating in Bali. Oh yes, I need to learn more Sanskrit too. That makes it eight, not including my exceptional command of English, with a side of Tibetan. 

• I kinda think I'll actually get to ride the roller coasters at Berjaya Times Square in KL this time. And maybe, just maybe, i'll have time to visit Melaka. 

• I need to cross off at least five things on my 100 things list. A couple will be pretty easy, the rest not so much, but that's all good!

• I need more fun. I need to try new things and to stop being so boring and predictable. That will have to wait until I get back from Malaysia and Bali though.  The various required resources are a little stretched at present!

• I also intend to be kinder to myself, more grateful, happier, more content and more present. 

• I will change the lounge/office around to give myself a larger, dedicated yoga space for home practice. 

I am pleased to announce that I have just completed my final assessment workbook for my Life Coaching and Wellness Coaching certifications, so in two weeks' time I will get the fantastic news that I've pass and graduated. 

What do you have planned for 2014?

2013 - the best of the year that is almost over

2013 has certainly been an interesting year, full of twists and turns, upside downs, insides out, back to fronts and everything in between.

Rather than spend hours over-analysing the year in gory detail, then vomiting that information onto this blog post, I've decided to celebrate the good stuff that came with 2013.  Here goes.

• I had a fabulous adventure holiday all over Malaysia and Singapore, riding cable cars, observation wheels, roller coasters, planes, trains, buses and taxis.
• I re-discovered yoga, this time falling in love with it (and not in hate with it). 
• I celebrated the gym's first birthday in grand style and having given up so much sweat and so many tears in the process of surviving and thriving during the first year, I gave up some blood in the form of getting a tattoo to celebrate. 
• I got a tattoo to celebrate the life of my beloved Uncle Aldo, who passed away in 2002.
• I fit into size small pants at Lorna Jane and size 8 pants at Lululemon.
• I completed my Certification as an NLP Practitioner
• I will have completed and submitted my Certified Professional Coach, Certified LIfe Coach and Certified Wellness Coach coursework and exams for conferral of these qualifications by 7pm New Year's Eve.
• I discovered I love and adore Langkawi and think Kuching is cute. 
• I didn't fall in love with Penang, Johor needs another visit, Singapore did my head in, Ipoh also needs more exploration and I've finally made peace with and learnt to like KL for what it is - total overload cray cray on a satay skewer.
• I grew a spine and a set of lady balls and I'm not afraid to use them or stick up for myself.
• I stuck up for myself and triumphed in the process. 
• I decided that enough is enough with some people - I will not be pushed around or treated like dirt anymore, by anyone. 

I've spent most of today setting and writing my sankalpa (yogic resolutions, as they are officially known, but I prefer to call them intentions) for 2014.

I'll get to those on Wednesday night, but for now, let's just say that intentions bend and flow, while resolutions can break.

Virtual Vision Boards

I stumbled across a virtual vision board creation tool the other night when an email came through from my yoga studio. The director had made up a virtual vision board of all the cool stuff we'll be enjoying next year, from salt therapy to workshops and early morning classes. She'd then stuck the picture in the newsletter.

Aha! What a fab idea - much as I love the physical creation, I wanted something "quick and dirty" to pop up at home - aka I want it now, so I'm making a virtual board right this second! Instant gratification is a dangerous thing, but here's what I plan to work on in 2014:

Basically, 2014 will be the year that I slow down and take more time for myself, after the crazy whirlwind of 2013 has left the building. 

2013 has been a year of immense personal growth, professional growth and figuring out what I need from life, with a side of knowing very well now what I don't want from life. 

Needs and wants are different - I need peace and quiet, I want a happy life. I need to avoid drama and evil pond scum. I want to have nice, happy, positive people around me. I need to let go of all the baggage of 2013 and I want to grab 2014 and give it a giant hug.

Wants and needs aside, I have managed to keep Harold the happy houseplant alive and kicking for several weeks, along with the aloe vera and the green plant with spines and a red throat. I also bought another five succulents which are still alive too. The cat is still kicking after eight years and I've still not put back on a single kilo of the weight I've spent five years leaving behind.

Despite it's immense highs and lows, up and downs, inside outs and back to fronts, 2013 hasn't been too bad a year. I'll reflect a little further on New Year's Eve, but for now I'm happy just being me, right here, right now. 

My achilles heel

I've done something to my left heel. I don't really know what. I don't really know when. I don't even really know how. What I do know is that it bloody well hurts and it's annoying.

I went to the podiatrist, he told me to go to the physio. I went to the physio, he stuck dry needles in it and told me to avoid pretty much everything exercise-wise except yoga, spin bike with no climbing and  stretching. I am banned from almost everything else and only allowed to do absolutely strictly necessary amounts of walking.

Far out.

If I behave myself, it could be right by Christmas. It may take longer, it may need more treatments and it may need tests. But I'm just trying to stay off it, do what the physio says and be kinder to it.

I had a really down day today. I wanted to just go to sleep, wake up and find it was back to normal.

But injuries don't work like that. I'm finding that they are the body's way of telling you to slow the hell down, take time to photograph those roses you usually walk past, chill out and just be there!

I have a few things I need to go and do this weekend, but beyond that, I'm staying off my feet. Or on them, in yoga class. The more down dogs, the better. Even chair is supposed to be good for it.

Better go and get to yoga. Seems it really is the cure-all activity!

Making decisions that will alter the course of your life

Over the past few weeks I've been trying to decide on a yoga teacher training course, a location for the course and the school I'm going to train with. Seems like an easy decision, but it is in fact one that will alter the course of the rest of my life. 

There are so many options, but so few viable choices, as I had a few list-whittling challenges:

• Can't take time off work during the week as it would be a logistical nightmare. 
• Don't want to give up my weekends (and need them free in case of work).
• Don't have $7000 lying around and won't be taking out a loan. 
• I won't be giving up my day job. I love it too much.
• I need time free to work with my coaching clients to pay for the course fees!
• Needs to be either close to home (already impossible) or an inexpensive overseas destination where I can combine it with a holiday.
• Dates need to synchronise with my schedule.
• I can't really do a whole whopping great length of time away from work at once.

I need a qualification from a widely respected school that is affordable in terms of time and money, fits my schedule and will produce the desired outcome. It's not about getting a fast result, it's about making this fit with my already pretty awesome life.  

So, I narrowed it down to two possible options - Santosha or Byron Yoga. 

Santosha do a month in Bali or a full distance learning option. It's at Canggu, where I could also learn to surf. But, I'd still have to finish the course in Australia.

Byron does 12 days intensive in Bali with the rest of the hours as distance learning. It's in Ubud and I could still go to Canggu and learn to surf.  

Byron is a very highly respected yoga school and is the longest established school in Australia. That's quite the pedigree!

I spoke with my yoga teachers and the director of my studio and did lots of research. I finally decided on Byron Yoga. 

Doing the YTT200 through Byron means I get two weeks in Bali, at half the cost of doing the course in Australia. I can do the remaining 80 hours in Australia and get to enjoy a few days either side of the course in Bali to chill out. I have plenty of time to save up and airfares to Bali are dirt cheap (cheaper than flying to NZ return, in fact). 

Yoga teacher training is just one more feather in my cap, as my Granny would say. It fits nicely with the coaching practice, fits nicely with my day job and will enable me to help more people. 

It will still take me around 12 months to complete the YTT 200hr certification, but I get to combine it with a holiday and develop my own practice further between now and the end of July 2014.

Winning.