I recently spent a Friday night hanging out with Tony Robbins. Well, okay then - not literally. I have all of his audio programs and love nothing more than spending time listening to his amped up over-enthusiasm and passion for life. I was funshopping my values and beliefs, the good and the less than ideal.
I came up with a list of values and a list of beliefs to live by. I'll share the values a little later in this post. The beliefs need their own post!
Four days ago, I was walking to work listening to Tony Robbins' sessions about the six human needs and I heard him say:
"People will violate their values to meet their needs."
This was such a profound revelation (aka a Eureka! or BFO ("blinding flash of the obvious") that I had to pull out my phone and whack it in as a note on the spot. Normally this would go straight into my inspiration journal or success journal, but I was two steps from a railway crossing and not about to pull out my success journal in the middle of the street.
Let me say it again:
"People will violate their values to meet their needs."
I am still processing the events of last night and I do believe on my post last night that I alluded to my refusal to violate my values for anyone or anything. I don't like living in internal conflict, so my values are non-negotiable. They are my map of the world, my compass, my road map if you will.
My values, in no particular order, include:
- Success in achieving my goals and dreams
- Fun, adventures, new experiences - which give me variety, uncertainty, confidence, happiness and positivity.
- Knowledge and learning (CAN-I or constant and never ending improvement)
- Health and fitness
- Helping others
- Trust, honesty, loyalty, reliability, friendship
- Order, control, organisation and planning - which give me certainty
- Relaxation and chill out time to recharge my emotional, spiritual, physical and mental batteries
- Time to myself, for myself, to be present with myself and work on developing myself, my talents, my abilities, my knowledge and my strengths
- Love and connection
The situation that I cryptically alluded to last night was ultimately going to violate quite a few of my values if it had gone the way I thought I wanted it to.
I don't think I could successfully function in my life and achieve everything on my 101 things list with that kind of internal conflict going on. I know myself too well - it's not worth the drama.
I am fiercely loyal to those people and things in my life that I love. For example, my family, my friends and my love of the NSW Blues State of Origin team. I will never, ever support QLD.
I also value honesty and hate being led up the garden path. I prefer to be straight with people and expect the same courtesy from them. Obviously everyone's map is different and I know that - but two maps at polar opposites are just not going to mesh well. It will all end in tears.
I need lots of certainty or I feel mentally out of control; but at the same time I need some uncertainty / variety to keep a balance. I can plan most things down to the minute but most times I pull back and just go with the flow. I just can't function with too much flow!
I just cannot live by someone else's map.
Have you had times where you've violated your own values and tried to live by another person's values instead?
How did that make you feel?
Was it successful?
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