No means NO!

Today I had a particularly ugly situation to resolve.  Someone on the fringes of my life got a little over-amourous, then got very possessive, then jealous, then nasty and then started to exhibit violent behaviours towards me. I decided that enough was enough two weeks ago and started the process of having their behaviour quashed legally.

Let me make my thoughts on the subject of violence absolutely crystal clear.  I believe that violence of any kind towards another human being is never, ever okay. Furthermore, violence towards women is extremely abhorrent and this person needed to learn that in Australia, their behaviour is illegal, intolerable and inappropriate. 

Bullying, harassing, intimidating, menacing, threatening and stalking behaviour is NOT OKAY!

This person was asked nicely by several people to leave me alone - including by me, five times. They chose not to heed the warning and today they found out what happens when I am threatened - you get an unpaid day off, in court, accompanied by a rather dimwitted lawyer. 

This sojourn to court was quite possibly the most stressful five hours of my life. Worse than the two breast cancer scares I've had. Worse than knee and shoulder surgeries. Not as bad as having shingles, glandular fever AND recovering from knee surgery at the same time - but it was definitely up there. 

I kept as calm as possible. I read yoga magazines. I breathed deeply. I chanted mantras in my head. I shuffled the 87 pages of evidence I'd taken with me to court. I couldn't find my headphones and nearly had a category five meltdown over that before leaving for court, so music was out, but I got chatting to other applicants and then met a nice Court Support Network lady who supported me for the whole process. 

To cut a long story short, good triumphed over evil, despite the respondent and his equally dimwitted lawyer trying to screw me over on a condition that I had very kindly compromised over. No way was I going to let that happen, so I let them have it, via the Magistrate. 

The Magistrate was in no mood for the respondent's trackpants and runners outfit (he got the thrice over, I nearly peed my pants -seriously, how disrespectful turning up to court looking like a bum off the street) the repeated disrespectful and nasty looks in my direction and his constant interruption shenanigans, so he let the respondent know in no uncertain terms that if he plays up, he's in big trouble.  

The respondent now can't try anything stupid or commit any of his previous behaviours towards me or have anyone else try it either. If he does, he gets arrested, goes back to court and gets a filthy great fine, possible jail time and a criminal record. Good job I say. 

I got a nice thick wad of papers and a 12-month reprieve from the respondent's blatant stupidity. The respondent may finally get a clue, or perhaps not, but seriously - I really hope they learn the lessons I tried to teach them. Society at large should now be a better place because this person needed to learn that this behaviour IS NOT OKAY!

Just because carrying on like a rancid pork chop towards women is deemed acceptable by some people in the lower levels of society, it doesn't mean it's okay in general or that it will be accepted, tolerated or approved of by the majority of society. There are serious crimes against women every single day in some countries, like acid attacks, dowry murders, gang rapes, murders, severe beatings, setting fire to your wife, etc. I didn't want to end up another crime statistic. 

I hope this person leans how to behave properly and learns that the word no, means NO! I hope they learn that when they are asked or told to leave someone alone, that it means that you stop calling, texting, visiting, starting, stalking, harassing, intimidating, following and otherwise annoying that person. 

I went through this so that this person could learn how to behave properly, to protect myself and to protect other women from being subjected to the blatant stupidity of actions and words that I suffered for almost four months thanks to the uneducated, unwise and foolish behaviours of this person. 

If you've got an over-amourous admirer, be careful. There's a fine line between good and evil, don't let them cross it. 

Just be there...

One of the greatest lessons I've learnt from enjoying nearly 40 yoga classes in the past few months is to "just be there". Okay, so that line comes from a previous Yoga Teacher, Tom. But this very concept still applies three years later and, quite frankly, it always will. 

Life changes in an instant. One second you're on top of the world, the next minute you're underneath it as it rolls over the top of you, flattening you like a pancake. You can choose to "lie back and think of England", or you can choose to roll up and get back on with life. 

Life is about choices. I choose to roll up.

I choose to enjoy every day. I choose to be happy. I choose to do something each and every day to move myself closer to my goals. I choose calm and peace. I choose to be a free-spirited, sandal-wearing, chai-drinking, semi-vegetarian, organic-selecting, recycling bouncy person who lives to inspire and encourage others. 

I choose to no longer allow anyone to squash my spirit, trash my dreams or silence my inner voice. I choose to be the best me that I can possibly be, in public and in private. I choose to achieve my goals and find something every single day to be grateful for. I choose to live in the moment, to be present, to cherish others and to cherish myself. 

I choose life, with all of its inside-outs and back-to-fronts and upside-downs. 

Wringing out your digestive organs

I woke up at 4am today in a bit of a flap and I could not get back to sleep. I wasn't feeling too flash (for those of you not of Kiwi or Aussie extraction, this means I felt "like death warmed up in a microwave") and I wanted to curl up into a little ball and rock back and forth. 

You all know about my evil FODMAP intolerance. Well, I thought I'd have a couple of former favourite items for dinner last night and in the words of Eliza Dolittle, "it's my belief they done the old woman in". You just never know exactly what is in a dish that doesn't have an ingredients list and that you haven't cooked yourself, until you eat it and it comes back to haunt and torture you a few hours later. 

I read some articles on Elephant Journal, tossed and turned, watched a couple of internet videos, tossed and turned some more and then at 7am I was horribly unwell. I was really, really struggling and thought I might actually have to forget going to yoga. I did manage to pull my little socks up and get on with it though - I had a nap, then a lukewarm shower, smashed down half a chai and took a slow walk to the studio. I survived the class and felt much better afterwards - like I knew I would!

Sometimes when you least want to drag your carcass out of bed and get on your mat, that's when you need yoga the most. 

The thought of not attending a class I was otherwise perfectly capable of doing just wasn't palatable. I know I have a love/hate relationship with the Warrior series poses but the idea of missing them today really got to me. I don't normally do the Saturday class but I'm well and truly hooked on yoga so whenever the opportunity arises, I'm on the mat, hanging out upside down (and occasionally, feeling like I am inside out while I'm back to front).

I did the Saturday class last week because the Sunday studio class was cancelled for a charity event. I did it today because I had to skip Tuesday night's class for a work function. I can't go to the Saturday class next week because I'm off to the Lego expo and then I'm having my hair done. I think Saturday will be an optional extra class for the time being - or at least until the 21 day yoga challenge I've joined starts! 

So after wringing out my digestive organs with yoga poses, I think I've found the cure to practically anything. It's called yoga and I love it!

E Tu - Stand proud; Kia Kaha - Say it loud

I had to head off to court today to obtain legal recourse against someone on the periphery of my life  (and they shouldn't even be that close to me!), who really does need to make some serious changes to their attitude, life and behaviour. 

This person needs help and compassion, but also needs to learn that they cannot bully, intimidate and harass people. I believe that this person has anger issues which need to be addressed and that they should seek the help they need. 

My position on this matter is that violence towards women (or anyone else) is never okay, no matter whether it is emotional abuse, mental abuse, or physical abuse. The respondent to my complaint believes that it is okay to behave in an aggressive, intimidating and harassing manner towards me and so therefore got a shock when they were called into the local police station to be served with legal documents telling them to leave me alone or they will be arrested and charged. 

For the final time, I will not back down, I will not be intimidated, I will not be silenced, I will not be bullied, I will not be treated like a stray dog in the street and I will not tolerate my human rights being violated. This person really does need to get a nice, fun, happy life of their own and stop trying to be a part of mine.

I'm not going to go into too much more detail on this, except to say that although my afternoon court session was a traumatic experience (and the first of two court sessions), it has empowered me and most certainly has not scared me off pursing this matter further.

People must learn that violence of any kind, particularly towards women, IS NOT OKAY! 

I'm getting down off my soapbox now, but I do want to clearly state that I will not stop with this legal action until I achieve the desired outcome - which is for this person to leave me alone and let me get on with my wonderful, fabulous life - without them in it! 

If it takes a court order to achieve that outcome, then so be it. 

Downward dogs and paradigm shifts

This past week has been a big test of my patience, my ability to deal with stress, my temper, my positive attitude and my mind. I've had a paradigm shift over the past few weeks and I'm loving it.

To cut a long story short, we had some issues with the building we lease for the club I run, as water and electricity are not good friends. After getting up and leaving slowly after Tuesday's yoga class I found a dozen text messages, missed calls and voicemails on my phone. While I'd been upside down, we needed Noah's Ark. 

Instead of freaking out and swearing like a sailor after three bottles of rum, I calmly returned the missed calls and text messages and voicemails. I quickly walked back to the club, dealt with the situation fairly calmly and jumped into action for a resolution. I didn't get one that night, so I went home. I had several SOS calls overnight which left me with only a few hours of sleep. I was back at the club at 6am Wednesday to try and get it sorted, and 13 hours later it was. I was tired, hungry, sleep-deprived and covered in muck, but we had a resolution.

Fast forward another hour on Wednesday night and I was back on my yoga mat, even though I really wanted to just go home and fall into bed. I had a great class and felt much better afterwards. I managed to get my feet flat and heels down in downward dog for the first time - awesome! I felt stronger, more flexible, calm, centred and empowered. 

I had an uninterrupted sleep Wednesday night and woke on Thursday feeling like I'd actually slept, so I stayed in bed for an extra two hours reading a book. I needed the quiet and the solitude. On Thursday night I was back on the mat for the third night in a row. I was sore, but still had my heels down on the mat in downward dog and managed flip the dog reasonably gracefully. 

On Friday night I taught a Zumba class cover, with a bit of a low blood glucose incident on stage. It wasn't major, but I went blank and forgot my choreography to a song I've taught about 50-odd times before. I fumbled a few more times, smashed down some candy and upped the intensity. I haven't been that low for a while, so clearly the stressful situations, the yoga, the masses of walking and my inner calm conspired to drop my glucose and my former stress cadet self. Stress usually pushes up my glucose levels, so clearly being calm does the opposite!

I woke up Saturday morning ready to take on the world, before I remembered it was my the 25th anniversary of my Mother's death from cancer. I went to yoga feeling a bit glum. I was sweating like crazy, which was clearly from the toxins (i.e. all the sugar) I had to smash down the night before. I felt a little miserable during the class but by the end I'd stopped feeling sorry for myself and a bit less wrathful. 

I didn't have time to mope, as I had to head home, eat and shower before heading off to sell Pink Ribbon Day merchandise as a volunteer for the Cancer Council. In previous years I've sat around and moped and been angry at the world and felt like crap. I decided this year would be different and that I would do positive things on the key dates (her birthday, Mother's Day, her anniversary, etc) to try and turn them into better days. As a result, I met two awesome people and made a new friend while raising lots of money for the Cancer Council. 

So, paradigms have shifted. This year has been different because I've been different. 

Thanks to my yoga practice, I'm not stressed out at the slightest little thing. All the time spent upside down is sending my creative brain into overdrive and I'm coming up with new ideas and new ways to do things. I'm less focussed on stuff and more focussed on experiences. I'm less stressed and more calm.  I'm more grounded, more centred, more chilled out and more laid back. Stuff that used to really get to me no longer does to the same extent. 

Sure, I do break into the odd expletive and I do get wrathful, but not angry. Injustice still frustrates me. People hurting other people still grates on me. I don't tolerate people's shoddy behaviour towards me or others but I'm not going to tie myself up in knots about it either. Karma exists for a reason. I'm not perfect and I will never claim to be perfect. I will never be perfect, but I can be a better version of myself. 

With all this in mind, I'm going to back to Langkawi in April for a two-part eight day yoga retreat. Four days of relaxed yoga retreat to unwind, two days in between, then four days of intensive retreat to really push myself. There's a few chill out days in the there and three days in KL on the way home to get back to reality (and a few different yoga classes). By April, I will need a break. I'm looking forward to massages at Alun-Alun Spa again too. That place is amazing.

I've also decided that I am going to do the 200 Hour YTT (Yoga Teacher Training) next year. I'm looking at either Ubud in Bali or Jakarta (Bali would be better!) for 12 day intensive program. Doing the training in Australia is two or even three times the price, so why not incorporate another holiday and  go somewhere new and pretty?

So, how have you been different this year?

100 things list

Most of you know about the concept of a 100 Things List, thanks in part to my good fortune to be at FILEX (the annual fitness industry convention in Australia) this year when Sebastian Terry was doing the closing inspirational presentation. Seb talked about why he started the 100 things project and the crazy things on his list, as well as his goal of raising $100,000 for Camp Quality in the process. 

As a result of this, I made a 100 things list of my own. You can view it here. I've managed to check off a few items, with many still to go. I decided I needed a hard copy list as well, so yesterday I bought a "100" notebook from Kikki-K. I managed to write down 89 things last night before my shoulder packed up and refused to allow any more writing. 11 more to go!

I love digital stuff, particularly being able to buy songs and albums and books without the physical clutter of the case or the book itself.  It keeps down the clutter and "stuff" which I feel holds me back and chokes me. More physical stuff means more stress when it gets overwhelming or untidy. No thanks! 

Much as I love my digital books and music and movies and etc, I love to physically write stuff down. I have a myriad of journals for my ongoing coaching and personal development studies. I like being able to pick up a journal and flick through it, thereby giving me the ability to instantly remember stuff I thought I'd forgotten. I also have the Goals, Gratitude, Happiness and Wellbeing journals from Kikki-K in which to record the past, present and future me!

With my 100 things list, there's been a couple of edits. A couple of things are no longer relevant or physically possible (I'll never do 50 decline push ups at 75 degrees, for example, nor do I want to try) so they've been replaced with new goals. I want to see more, do more, experience more, learn more and enjoy more. Turns out I do want to go to Bali after all, just nowhere near Kuta. Phuket can stay where it is for now. I just want to go to places that won't disturb my mind!

I'm a firm believer in constantly re-evaluating your life, your goals, your plans, your motivations, your thoughts, your actions and your intentions. If something no longer serves you in your quest to be the best you that you can be, drop it and move on. If something is holding you back, cut the ties and walk on. Walk away from what you don't need in your life and walk towards what you do need. 

Life is too short to waste being stressed, miserable, bored, tired, angry, depressed or mean. Don't like your situation? Change it! No one else can do it for you.

Vision Boards - more than just a bunch of pretty pictures

I've just found a great online post which I just had to share. Read on for the link!

I've been making vision boards for years - the first was about triathlon, with a great selection of pictures and quotes by Chrissie Wellington, Craig Alexander, Mirinda Carfrae and Chris McCormack. The second was more of a vision wall - it was a collection of photos of awesome places I've visited and lived on the wall above my desk at home.

The last one I made was all about my Malaysian Adventure Holiday. It was the first thing I saw in the morning when I woke up and the last thing I saw at night - it was on the wall at the end of my bed, right where I could see it at the two most important times of the day for my mind! It kept me going through some very tough, stressful and tiring days.

Tomorrow I will begin the process of starting a new one, using the tips in the article linked below. In fact, I'll probably make two. One for my next trip and one for the rest of my life. I'll post photos when I'm done.

Here's the link - now get to it!

Creating a Powerfully Effective Vision Board That Works For You

I'm a Certified NLP Practitioner!

I had some fabulous news this week - I've passed my final assessment workbook and I am now officially a Certified NLP Practitioner! 

My journey with Neuro Linguistic Programming (or NLP) started in 2008, when I was forced onto a course at work that, at the time, felt a bit like some sort of witchcraft. I was there with one other girl and a bunch of guys, we were all part of the same team but had totally different jobs. They were supervisors of 15-20 people each, I supervised two people and 250 pieces of technology. I wasn't sure why I'd been sent on this course when I only managed mobile computers that didn't talk back...well, not too often.

The course covered NLP, Neuro Semantics (NS), coaching and leadership skills and a few other things. Turns out it was a fantastic way to spend three days - I'm still using precision questioning to this day! We didn't get certified, so when I found out that you could get certified in NLP, I was a little more interested. Anything with a final outcome involving a qualification to me is something worth pursuing - or at least it was when I was rolling in the corporate world.

Fast forward five years and I was trawling Groupon Malaysia one night in May this year, looking for deals for my adventure holiday, when I spotted the certification course I've just completed. I checked it out, it seemed good - online, study when you want, download the material to your iPod, very thorough, etc. I looked at comparable qualifications in Australia, they involved a lot of money and taking days off work that I didn't have available due to my upcoming Malaysian trip. My adventure had to come first, so I decided to spend the couple of hundred Malaysian Ringgit and buy the coupon to enrol in the course.

I enrolled in mid-May, got stuck in, took a break while on holiday and when I came back I slowly plugged away at the hours and hours of audio and the assessment workbook. I used the techniques to sort out a few things I had personally needed to resolve. I used them with other people. I tried to use them with the cat when she was all stressed out and scared of the sound of my keys, but got a curious range of stares in return. Come to think of it, perhaps they were they famous covert "you're an imbecile" looks that Siamese cats do so well!

I've used the NLP techniques to cure my heights and flying phobias, to set goals, to overcome my final issues with food and to get rid of a bunch of negative home movies I had stored in my head that were "doing my own head in".  I feel better able to communicate with people, I don't dwell on stuff like I used to and I feel more in control of my mind and my life. If there's something holding you back, let me know and if I can help you, I will.

Tai Chi and Chai Tea

In between finishing my NLP studies and my Law of Attraction studies over the past few weeks, I found a few minutes to jump on eBay and purchase a Tai Chi DVD, which is now on my iPad. Yep, Tai Chi. It's not just for elderly Chinese folk - it's actually very challenging, according to one of my Personal Trainer staff!

I figured I'd give Tai Chi (or Qi Gong) a go, as I've heard it's very good for the mind, body and soul. I'm not sure when I'll fit it in but I'll re-jig the weekly routine and fit in in somewhere.  Tai Chi apparently has a range of benefits - I just want to enjoy something new that may (or may not) compliment my yoga practice and help with my balance. You can practice it practically anywhere and it's actually a Chinese Martial Art, without the violence. Nice!

I'd like to build up to doing Tai Chi and yoga everyday. New goal!

I've also started drinking chai tea (from bags) at home without sugar. This in itself is pretty major - the last bastion of sugar consumption has fallen at last. I bought a bottle of chai mix with hardly any sugar in it (8g per serve), to have at night instead of hot chocolate (which has nearly three times the sugar in it!). I'm reading labels even more than before and comparing products based on sugar levels. 

You may be asking, is paying even more attention to food labels actually possible when I go over everything with a fine-tooth comb (or three) ? Even though I'm FODMAP intolerant and need to check that whatever I'd like to consume isn't going to mess with me, yes it is possible to pay more attention to what goes in my mouth. 

I need about 140-160g of carbs a day on exercise days to keep my blood glucose levels stable as I'm diabetic and I exercise a lot - basically seven days a week. I may not be smashing out HIIT training every day, but yoga and walking drop my blood glucose levels, whereas cardio and instructing Zumba classes push the levels back up. It's a bit of a delicate balance. I know when I'm low because I get ratty and a little aggressive-sounding. My staff tell me go eat! When I'm high, I get thirsty and want to take a nap. My body would rather sleep it off.

So why all this talk of sugar ditching? Well, aside from the obvious facts that it's not really all that good for you as an added substance to what seems like every food I like (and that I'm diabetic), it feels like poison. Yes, I said it. It feels like poison. I don't like what it does to me. I don't like the fact that just about everything contains extra sugar these days and I sweat far more after consuming sweet stuff. 

The sugar sweats are particularly noticeable during yoga. If I've had a little bit of sweet stuff that day (for a night class) or the day before (for a morning class), I'm playing twister on a sweaty water slide in class. Thank goodness for special thin microfibre towels designed for Hot Yoga - I need one for any kind of yoga it would seem! I don't have sweet stuff very often - I'm off chocolate pretty much entirely and haven't had a boost bar in weeks - but even coconut water seems to do it to me. 

It's good to get all the toxins out, but better to not let them invade or give them the keys to the temple in the first place. 

Ignorance is bliss

Ignorance is bliss. I don't do TV anymore. I don't read newspapers anymore either. I don't feel the need to view news sites on my phone or iPad. I read the occasional magazine but not those trashy gossip ones. Do I feel the need to relish in other's misfortunes? HELL NO!

While in Malaysia on holiday, I had only one night of TV. I was in Johor Bahru, the night before I went to Legoland and I was a bit bored. Instead of reading a book on my iPad, I turned on the TV, which came with my hotel room package.  What was on? 2012, the movie. A disturbing waste of a few hours of my life which I'll never get back.

A couple of weeks ago you'll remmber that I cut off Foxtel and therefore I cut off TV in general. I didn't enjoy waking up and having the beauty of a brand new day ruined with an overload of negativity (news and weather channels). No TV and no newspapers has been fantastic and it's awesome not being caught up in all the negativity and horror and violence that is plastered across newspapers and the news. 

It doesn't mean I don't care about the people suffering in the world, because I do. I just prefer to wake up and be genuinely grateful for all the blessings I have in my life. 

I suspect I was watching around 15-20 hours of TV each week. I'm now using that time to learn stuff, do stuff and generally chill out. I've discovered the wonderfully frustrating game of Mah Jong. I've completed two courses which lead to two pretty awesome qualifications (Basic Law of Attraction Practitioner and Certified NLP Practitioner) and I should have the final tick in the box for the NLP one early this week. 

I've been reading books, researching stuff on the internet, cooking more and generally having a more peaceful and interesting life. I've discovered activities, places and new fun things to do that I need to explore. I'm going to the Hare Krishna-run Gopal's restaurant for dinner one day. I'll go to one of their Kirtan evenings and chant and sing and dance. Heck, I may even follow them down Swanston Street one Friday night (like I used to do in Auckland on my way to the Ferry). I'll try new places with Char Siu Bao. 

I'm going to make a far more determined and conscious effort now to focus on doing one new thing and one fun thing each week. I'm not having enough fun and that needs to change, STAT!

In terms of mind-body-spirit connectivity, I've got the yoga three times a week thing down pat, so I'm going to add in a Saturday morning class - yes, a fourth class - and I'm considering attending the Monday night women's health class by candlelight as well. It doesn't cost any extra as I have a membership at the studio. I may add in Wednesday night down the track too.  Then I can do six days a week and it's six days in a row. Maybe I'll try it one week and see what happens?

Tomorrow heralds a new day and the start of a brand new week, so it's time to try a new morning schedule. I'm thinking:

6am - continuously hit the snooze button

6.30am - Meditate, Dharma Practice

7am - Yoga (Vinyasa sequence)

7.30am - coffee, green tea, first breakfast, journalling

8am - 21 day transformation tasks (I'm doing a mind, body, spirit transformation)

8.30am - walk to the gym

8.45am - one hour of cardio

9.45am - shower, second breakfast, coffee, green tea, chill out time

10.30am - start work

7pm - finish work, head home for dinner and study, or to yoga, or whatever

Better get to bed soon - 6am alarm beckons!